• Thoughts and Shenanigans

    Weather-vane for my Haunted Mansion

    I came across this while I was cruising the outdoor clearance online.  I want it.  I want it for year round.  I want all the neighborhood kids to think our house is haunted (it is) and run by a witch (I am) and trespassing across my grass might cause a temporary metamorphosis to a mouse.  But I want it.  For all the time. https://www.target.com/p/halloween-bat-rooftop-weathervane-black-whitehall-products/-/A-51065688

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  • Thoughts and Shenanigans

    I paid for a Doctor to harm me and call it help with a smile.

    I have some pretty severe back problems, which causes severe and debilitating pain.  Things I have to tried to make this pain better include years of physical therapy, intensive exercise regimen, extreme weight loss, chiropractor visits, biofeedback, lazer therapy, and dozens of excruciating Epidural Steroid Injections.  Dozens. The thing with the ESI’s, as they’re known in the medical field, is they are very expensive.  The Doctor makes an absolute fortune on them, and the beauty is you can do them again and again, technically indefinitely.  You must have four weeks between shots, but at one point the doctor I was seeing had me doing a series of three every six…

  • Parenting Hellions,  Thoughts and Shenanigans

    Say What Now?

    I just received a letter from my daughter’s school complaining that my daughter has been tardy/absent more than five times this semester and I need to pay attention and make sure she is attending.  It took everything I have not to go there in person in my pajamas with no bra and tell them to fuck all the way off to their faces. Ainsley is a competitive gymnast.  It is her passion.  She had two injuries this year, the latest is her ankle.  She fractured it in four places and tore every ligament.  She was in a cast for several weeks, then graduated to a boot which she is currently…

  • Everybody Hurts Sometimes

    Today is hard.

    Today is really hard.  I did a lot yesterday.  When I wasn’t so ill, it would have been just a day.  Now that my body sucks and it doesn’t work properly its harder and harder.  I’m in so much pain.  I’m so sad.  I’m so tired.  And I don’t have any more energy to keep doing this.  I am so sick of being in pain and not being allowed to say it, do anything about it, get help for it.  I feel done.  Its too much.

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  • Painful Problem


    I went to the ER today for a severe Ulcerative Colitis flare.  It was awful and I was in a terrible amount of pain.  Usually the Hospital I go to is really good.  I drive an extra fifteen minutes JUST because that one usually treats me well and doesn’t accidentally give me the wrong medication or have incompetent asshole doctors.  I must have done a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE THING and deserve Karma to kick my ass up and down the block because today was so painful. One of my doctors, lets call him Dr. Asshat, instructed me to take Motrin for my pain even though I am NOT allowed to have…

  • Everybody Hurts Sometimes

    Doctor Douche

    I suffer from Chronic Pain.  Its taking all the strength I have not to delete that statement.  I feel that as soon as someone knows I have chronic health issues they make assumptions about me.  I’m lazy, or over-dramatic, or I just want attention.  Full Disclosure, I am TOTALLy lazy and overdramatic, but those things have nothing do with my illness.  More like exist in SPITE of my illness.  Everything I do is in spite of my illness. One of the issues that causes me daily pain is my herniated discs.  I have them in my back and neck.  Its debilitating.  I’ve had all the treatments, nerve medication, lidocaine patches,…

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  • Thoughts and Shenanigans

    D is for Dentaphobia

    This morning I had to go to the Dentist and have a molar pulled.  I had an absess next to it and the tooth was so badly infected and damaged it couldn’t be saved.  I have a terrible fear of dental work.  I don’t like being in the chair unable to leave.  I panic so badly that I shake uncontrollably in the chair and sometimes the Dentist will get frustrated because I can’t stop.  The Dentist today was quiet and reserved, not overly friendly but obviously very good at his job and quietly compassionate.  Despite his empathy, it was a total shit show. I am very difficult to numb.  I’ve…

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  • Parenting Hellions

    I already know about Relations

    My middle son, Max, is ten and has Aspergers.  Aspergers is on the Austism Spectrum.  He is very gifted but socially he is TOTALLY IGNORANT.  He has zero tolerance or patience for the slower pace of his peers, or their lack of scientific knowledge or their interest in learning specific topics.  He can’t even.  AT. ALL. I got a letter from his school notifying me that they’ll be teaching Sex Education this month and if you want to “Opt Out” you have to sign a form and send it in, otherwise your kid is getting Sex Education.  Max is so not having it.  He has a book about Puberty and…

  • Cats in my Cradle

    Cats are inconsiderate Assholes

    Cats ARE inconsiderate assholes.  I don’t care if Pawncess Meowser is your faithful lifetime companion and partner, shes still an asshole. We have four cats.  I DID THIS TO MYSELF.  I’m 100% aware.  Lets not talk about fault just now though, because if I have to admit to some/most/POSSIBLYALL of the blame I’ll feel like I can’t complain.  I really need to complain. If I’m doing something in a part of the house OTHER than the kitchen, one or more of the cats will jump onto the counter and investigate whatever I’ve left there.  It could be a rusty nail I found in the driveway, as soon as my back…